It has been a really hard weekend for me. I think for so long I've just tried to be ok with where I'm at in life, and what I'm doing...knowing, hoping, trusting, that the person I am supposed to find is out there, and that my future is just waiting for me--and that it's not too far off.
It seems like I've been waiting....forever.
I have really felt alone for a few weeks now...deeply alone...and it just reconfirms to me the same negative thoughts over and over...it's never going to happen for me.
Is it?
I want so desperately to find someone and to start a family of my own...my friend posted something lately on her blog about her infertility frustrations, and all that she is going through with that. I feel for her...and I understand her feelings. Because I have the same feelings about just finding 'someone'. I feel angry at God because it is taking so long, and here all my friends and family members are receiving these blessings that I so desire to have...marriage, and children.
I'm just angry today. And my heart feels like it is going to BURST in half--feeling forgotten, unloved, and unnoticed by God.
I can't shake this feelin'
