Ruts.

I want to feel good about being single and like I said yesterday, "34 and enjoying it all the more"...

I'm sure I will have up and down days, and I don't want to only record the up days.

Someday when I get married and have a little family, I am going to look back on these entries and be so grateful that I recorded my thoughts...the good AND the bad.

Today, was a bad day.

I'm having  a rough time focusing on my job at the moment. Each time school starts, I find myself just wishing that I was the mom and that I was doing school shopping for them and taking them to meet their teachers, getting them ready the first day of school, helping with homework, going to their SEP conferences, etc., etc.

I want that in my life.

I'm sure when it does come around, I will be wishing that I didn't have all that responsibility and have to be in charge of so much for them...but, I do want that. It's a righteous desire that I have.

I woke up today and just fought every second going to work. I feel unhappy where I am at, yet I am trying to have a positive attitude about it. I'm trying to make the most out of my situation and being where I'm at. I need to find ways to get out of my "ruts" when I am in them...because I frequently get in them. I spoke with Lori today about my feelings and came to the conclusion that I have a positive outlook on my life and where I'm at right now for like 5 hours, and then I start feeling down again.

What things can I be doing to get myself out of the rut feelings, and feeling positive about it all again?