What makes me happy?

I've been quite discouraged lately, about God's timing for my future, and when that will all happen for me. I've been trying to be patient, and just have struggled.

My brother gave me a blessing last week, and in it, I was told that I needed to just be patient. To focus on me right now, and to just find what makes me happy. After finishing such a grueling master's program at BYU, I realized that I completely lost myself.

Not sure what makes me happy anymore.

After really pondering that thought in my blessing, I've decided that that must be my quest this 33rd year of mine.

What brings a smile to Karen and her heart?

Out there somewhere...

It's a roller coaster....and always has been for me. So, this guy I met was great. Such a good person...so many great qualities. We went out every single night for a week straight. And then...he stopped calling for over a week.

This is the story of my life.

Well, when he finally did call...he just had a lot of things to say that made me think..."I so deserve more than this".

So...on to greater things...I know he's out there somewhere. Where, I say?

Goodness :)

I met someone.

I just have to say that he is good...lots and lots and lots of things about him.

I want to know more...I don't think I know anyone like him.

And oh, I hope I see and get to know more of him! :)

Singles Websites

So I have been off of the whole dating scene on the singles websites for quite some time now.

I just hate them...

There is so much false hope there-and so much devastation to your self esteem-atleast that is how my experience with them has been. It's like you read someone's profile and they seem great and then you meet them in person, and they're nothing like they said they were. Or, you think a person sounds really cool and makes a good match with you, and so you get brave and send them a quick email on the site...and then they write back a quick one-liner and don't ask you any questions at all, so you feel like they looked at your profile and weren't interested, and they are just emailing you back to be nice. Or, they don't email back at all-and your self esteem is shot.

I recently got back on one of the sites and posted some new pics, and all of a sudden people are writing me...and I got the false hope again...and then the slams to my self esteem.

Dating sucks, and I'm sick of it. I'm so ready to just throw in the towel.

Waiting

Have you ever had one of those experiences that you just can't explain? Or understand? Or completely believe, even though you know deep down that it's true?

Today I did.

I just had the strongest feeling that there are little people upstairs waiting to come down. I've felt this before, but today it was stronger than ever and it made me feel like they are 'sick and tired' of waiting.

SO, what am I not doing to not get them here....I've got to evaluate this....

Best video, evah!

Ok, so I grinned from ear to ear watching this. Someday, someday, I will have as much excitement and feel this happy when I finally find someone to share my life with. Here's hoping it's coming for me sooner than later...Enjoy.

Yearnings...and doubts

I love holidays, but they are kind of hard for me.

As always, I yearn to have a family of my own to celebrate them with. I enjoy reading people's blogs about their little families, I love celebrating with friends and families at their weddings, I am always excited to celebrate the holidays with those I love who have little families of their own...

But at times it does get me down, doubting...will this ever happen-for ME? Doubts play a big role in my ability to be social and to go out and meet guys. Because my thinking always turns to--"I'm 32, still single, and never ever date...is there really someone out there still for me?"

I'm not here to rant, and hopefully don't sound depressed...just wanted to say that I have yearnings and doubts...and would love someday, whenever God's timing is right, to have a little family of my own to celebrate with...